There are scores of medical terms and acronyms commonly used in both veterinary and human medicine. Some of these are fairly consistent across the various educational institutions and regions. Some of them vary like a dialect, eg NQR = ‘Not quite right’ and ADR = ‘Ain’t doing right’. They can be confusing at first, but they can save time when you’re talking about the HCT of a GSD in for a GVD who’s now having VPCs! (or at least when you’re typing up the reports later).
With that in mind, there are a few acronyms and phrases that I personally feel should be more widely used. Feel free to use them, or add your own.
DSTO = Dog Smarter Than Owner
CSTO = Cat Smarter Than Owner
TFBUNDY = Totaly F*cked But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet
TUNA = Turned Up No Appointment. Sometimes smell fishy
F*ckets = a combination of ‘F-loads’ and ‘Buckets’ used to describe a quantity. For example, “I gave it F*uckets of adrenaline”, typically used for situations where the patient is going to die anyway so you might as well try anything because an overdose cannot actually make the situation worse.
IANYK = I’m a nurse you know. Generally reserved for human medicos that like to diagnose and treat their pets without your advice, and justify their decisions by reminding you of their profession, again.
Xoodle = Apparently contains poodle
DNAPB = “Definitely Not A” Pit Bull
MYF = Mind Your Fingers
EHF = Eats Human Flesh
DUDE = Defecating/Urinating/Drinking/Eating. If a chart says ‘normal DUDE’ it doesn’t necessarily mean a good patient.